From a Potters Field

Where Is It That I’ve Come?
Transported By The Deepest Agony
Thine Own Dark Arts Poorly Orchestrated
My Soul Crushed Upon That Infernal Plain
The Dark Heat Blackens The Ground
The Temptation That Claws And Grabs
I Wander Without Finding As I See Lava Red
The Sky Crackles And Burns In This Desert Hades
As I See Written Only The Advice Of The Dead
This Bleakness Of An Unprepared Journey
Can I Find The Solace Of Home?
Will I Come To Some Small Landmark In The Barren Land?
I Come To The Bank Of The River Of Oblivion
To Drink A Drop Leads To Thoughtless Innocence
Then The Dark Boatman Comes With His Raft
He Demands His Mercenary Fee
I Am Without This
I Was Left As A Stranger
But All Are Equal As All Eventually Arrive.
And So I Cross Into The Land Of The Dead Lord
I Was As You Are Now And All Will Be As I Am
Remember It Well

On Angst

They always line up by the pretty ones
They line up single file while you yearn
because they line up behind the pretty ones
you realize you’ll never get your turn

A Prayer

God, Thank you for all the beautiful things in the world.
Even when they make me angry
Even when I feel jealous
Even when I want to punch through walls like they were styrofoam and I was a wrecking ball

Forgive me
Especially if I can’t forgive others
I think with Your help in time I will

Forgive me
For sometimes feeling Your blessings are inadequate
And envying others when I know what I have is sufficient

Forgive Me
For not loving myself enough to know that things are going to be ok
For not knowing I don’t have to impress anyone to be comfortable with myself
And thinking that someone else’s approval is the magic bullet to make me happy

Forgive me
For wronging others and being selfish when what they need is my support
and not loving my family enough or my friends enough or You enough

Bless me
So that I can make the world a more just place where the innocent are not badly wronged
and when someone is hurt balance is restored and what is right is accomplished
even if this means acting against my own jugdement

Bless me
So that I can help bring more peace into the world
and fewer people walk around in anger and scorn
peace is made active in the word and hard hearts are softened
old ragged creations are made new

Bless me
So that I may resist evil and temptations wherever I find them
and the raging selfish beast of my being is tamed and quieted
making me an agent of love that can walk through the world as a paltry but pleasant light

Bless me
So that I always remain humble neither doubting nor giving myself great credit
and not false humility but firm, knowing that You have been my guide

Bless me
Because I greatly need your blessing as I walk through this broken world
but never let me forget that it is also a beautiful World
to doubt that is a blasphemy to every flower
an insult to every beautiful woman
a crime against every good deed
and I know were to think of abandoning it
what else would I be doing but that?

Bless me
So that my heart is always grateful and true
without resentment and a testament of goodwill

Bless me
So that I may find my true path
and should I fail (as I may) that I will repent, brush myself off, then begin anew

I praise you
Because I have been blessed with many things

I praise you
Because you have blessed me with friends

I praise you
Because you have created everything, all that there is
Existence itself, with all its molecules and atoms and genes
All that is, is because of you

I praise you
Because you are there even in my darkest hours
Even though I may not see it
Even if I do not think it

I praise you
Because I have abundant food and live where it is plentiful

I praise you
Because I have good health and a caring family when some people have neither

I praise you
Because I have an education and opportunities
I hope I always remember that and never forget what they have opened for me

I praise you
That I know what good is
and (however feebly) I try to act it out
Rarely am I given difficult choices
Rarely do I have to choose between two evils

I praise you
Because I have not suffered much tragedy in my life
I am not plagued as yet with disease and death and heavy conflict
I have had a whole and stable family, when many have not

I praise you
Because I have sometimes felt lucky
and have felt joy in my life

I praise you
Because of art and music and everything beautiful in the world that you have let me see
let me never forget that

I believe
that you have created all that there is

I believe
that you are mighty and powerful
and what is anything in comparison to how great you are

I believe
That you have blessed the poor and the oppressed
that nothing has escaped your sight and that the weak are in your care
those who have wronged them have been seen

I believe
That you too have been weak, you too have been scorned and oppressed
you were seen as scum and irrelevent, you had your care be mocked

I believe
That You have suffered and if you have suffered
perhaps I can find the strength in suffering for it has been made holy
you put on flesh only to have it torn off you in sneer and sarcasm
even your greatness was once weak and pained
If you have cried tears and screamed in pain
I should think it no indignity for myself if I too should feel these things

I believe
That your love is so massive the whole world has been Graced
Forgiveness is poured down on all and no one is not loved
there is so much love it is a part of you yourself
mercy floods the earth enough to drown

I believe
That you have given the world freedom
beause that is how much you care for it
creation helps create itself
for good or ill they have ben given that
you love enough to suffer the pain of that
it may be that evil itself is necessary
not because of malice or apathy
and that in that freedom come the seeds of faith itself

I believe
that so much is mysterious about you
that I may never fully grasp it
how can I grasp what is and always is?

I believe
that your goodness is absolute
what do I know of good and evil without you?
the good that is in my heart is from you
and the weakness that is in the world
will not always be

I believe
that everything will be made new
and peace and love will come to truly reign
a kingdom where all is right

 I believe
That I must believe
and that my faith should persevere even when things are at their darkest
for hope can fuel the world

I believe
that all things are possible because of you
life is worth living and hoping for
hope conquers fear, love conquers hate, life conquers death

Love will conquer

You are faithful

Justice will reign

The last will be first

That you too have have suffered

I have been blessed

Creation is beautiful

I will have faith

You are my guide

I am a sinner

Hope is real


Thank You, Even when things are difficult
Forgive me
Bless me
I Praise you
I believe in you