[Always eliminate desires that you may know its mysteries. Always have desires that you may know its manifestations.]…..Or “Thus, to be really objectless in one’s desires is how one observes the mysteries of all things, While really having desires is how one observes their boundaries”

These are two translations of the DaoDe Jing. Of late I have focused on them and they have put me into thought. A frequent theme of the Dao is to try not to be forceful in the way one lives. To not put too much effort into how you behave. To use wuwei or “non-action” or “acting without acting”  One of the great problems for the daoist is acting with ulterior motives. I may not agree entirely with this line of reasoning as a universal principle. But I can appreciate it. And so I have decided to try to work on abandoning my desires, to try to be loose and “fall back on the natural” for a few months at least. If for no other reason than to unburden myself. How can I abandon my desires? I think I will start by stopping being goal oriented for a while. I’m going to try to stop building and focusing on a set idea and instead go with wherever my life takes me. This does not mean being lazy, rather it means stopping worrying myself. Just as an experiment I’m going to try to stop operating within strict structures. A Daoist might call such actions “artificial” and stifling and thus not beneficial to living.

This too means stopping myself from interacting with people with directed intention. Rather let me see how things develop without influencing development with plans of my own. This might come into play in forcing interaction with others in a social setting “forcing coversation” as it were. I must also confess that sometimes in my interactions with women particularly attractive women I sometimes try to present myself in a certain way, impress them perhaps. Even though I would say I am rarely overt with women on the romantic front and always respectful. I must admit there is often the urge to impress them in the back of my mind and dare I say to try to lean things in a romantic direction. This is too much. This is something that I will try to abandon also. That impulse and motivation is what I should try to abandon.

Perhaps in reigning in my self-direction I will achive some ease. I hope so. I may be able to act more naturalistically as a result and end up freer and easier. That is why I think I will try this for a few months. In abandoning a set direction, I may open myself to greater possibilities.